My Son and his adopted parents. I'm in Maine now, as that was where I was drawn to return to this winter (the trees, the ocean, Mother Nature- what more can I say!) and he lives in CA where his father has a job as a professor. They were our first visit on our trip back to Maine, but it wasn't until his birthday in June that I cried and it really hit me how much I miss having him near and that I won't be able to see him as often.  I think of him often, he's just there, a part of me, like my daughter who is with me, and though I do not yearn for him and I know he is very well and happy, a part of me misses him dearly and wonders on him.  How strange, my son, my flesh and blood, so far, yet so close and so loved.  I love him and I love them for loving him and raising him as I would have, had I could have- it is for the best. Thankfullness.

Be-ing. Be-ing here, on the computer, in my friend's garage, while he's working on a friend's car, and my daughter is sweeping up the rust under it, and asking him what the cement mixer is.

there really has been nothing constant or ritualistic about my life or how i live it.  A daily pattern or habit has not been set, each day a phlux, each day new. My upbringing came with rituals, every day, every morning, every night, there were various rituals to follow. Life flowed with the pattern of each day, it was a comfort- the past few years have lost all and any rituals and have questioned any and all forms of establishment. It's one of those full circle times of my life, time to come back to the basic foundation of structure and daily rituals that form a content path for life to flow through, both for my daughter and myself.  I find this an exciting time, a sense of anticipation- a walk through the waterfall, the looking glass- into a new life.  All at once I am becoming into a new place in so many ways- a new house, an old two-bedroom cottage on a gorgeous peaceful 2 acres of land with more woods to explore around it; my business growing and becoming established, a new and ever expanding circle of friends; major releasing of the past, accepting of the now, and. . .accepting of the now, with hope for the future; and so many new opportunities and possibilities.  As my outlook on life is changing, my approach to living has changed, is changing, and I embrace this.  Understanding that structure and rituals aid to accomplishing tasks as well as the flow of creativity for me is, well, a relief.  I am looking forward to and enjoying now, the space of structure and as i go, the rituals I will discover that will most likely, enrich and add to my life. 
So, with thankfulness I venture forward and with prayers to be open to accept and embrace the good, the positive, the creative, and the rituals to enrich.

That is all starts with me. Until I know what to do and do it there is no point in telling or encouraging others to.  My part is to be creative and make money doing what I do best and love to do, and that is to design and make clothing that is using all recycled and re-used materials in a creative and fun way.  I am excited about it and others are too. It's a learning process but one I feel I can take on and that by doing so, I am in my own way, slowly making a change and showing people that things can be done here, in tiny little East Machias, ME, to keep our Mother from getting overwhelmed with more mass produced crap. That's my basis- that there is already enough stuff, why make more new stuff when we have plenty of old stuff to use?  I live that way pretty much with every thing in my life- I don't even think I've been in a clothing store for months except to by undies and even then, a lady just gave me two boxes of underclothes making materials because she used to teach a home ec class and has the stuff and wanted to give it to someone who would use it- thank you!- so, now I won't have to go to the store.  Everything I own has been given to me or has been recovered from thrift stores or yard sales and I'm proud of that. I want to show people that there are marvelous things that can be made from what is here, and that even going through the process of making 'green' clothing brand new, is still, maybe not neccessary.  So, that's what I'm doing, one step at a time.
thanks for listening,
Anna

Absolutely! I'd have to be blind not to see the evolution in myself and so many of the people I associate with on a daily basis!!  It is happening and it is real and it will effect our lives! for this, I am thankful daily. May it continue and may the consciousness become a reality for many on more levels than we are even conscious of.

I've been communicating with people I know and thought were my friends, and perhaps some heart mates, however, there has been very little understanding and I have grown frustrated.  I've realized we are not on the same plain and so yesterday I reached out to someone else who has been offering information and insight for me but when I'm ready.  So I got to have a 4 hour conversation yesterday that actually made sense to me, and one in which I was heard as well.  It opened me up to the fact that there are other people in this area whom I can communicate with clearly and I am refreshed an encouraged.

Other than that, I communicate with many social groups, all the types that make up Downeast Maine.  Rednecks, locals, blacks, latinos, visitors, my clients, whoever I see in the grocery store, the old folks I deliver meals to, my daughter's friends and their parents, etc.  Online, on the phone over thousands of miles.

I dig happiness. Happiness is being content, at peace, calm, okay with the world, accepting, and just being.  Happiness is a gage for all those inner things- a manifestation of when I'm jiving with life, whether is appears to be 'positive' or 'negative'. 

negative feelings. Guilt, regret, doubt. Analyzing stuff instead of accepting and being.  Currently it has been a struggle to let go of the regret I have in leaving CA.  I had forgotten that the energy in Downeast Maine is overly negative, so many depressed and repressed Christians live here.  I'm learning a lot about myself and how I relate to people.  But I wish so much that I could move back to CA and keep on with my life there.  On the other hand, I have grown in tremendous ways that I would not have had I not gone on that crazy drive cross country with my daughter and now, being here, finding that, ultimately, all my strength and confidance is in me and that I can and will continue to make better and beneficial decisions for myself y mi hija!

I'm a scorpio, I'm always in transition.  I am in a major transformation right now as I've finally come to the knowledge that a life without expectations and also not taking things personally is a life I prefer- it's getting there that is a challenge, coming from the opposite.  There is so much to understand within this, that's why I'm on the computer today. The universe is teaching me, may I be open. Thankfullness.

Sometimes I love it, sometimes I crave it, sometimes I loath it, other times I just wish there were a gaggle of people in another room talking and I could be alone in the next room doing my thing.  A lot of times I am alone, so I like to be around people. I can get in my head too much and search for escapes. Other times I need to get back into my heart space and have to carve out alone times.